Raising a Happy Child: Give Specific Explanations
“You are a loser”, “You are not good at sports”, “You hate math” and many more sentences are often used by parents and teachers to explain to children how they should be feeling.
How many times have your friends negatively affected your mood just because they said things like “Oh you look sad today” or “You aren’t yourself today, is something wrong with you?” Even though you might be feeling great, words like these can change how you feel, right? We do the same with our kids without noticing. We put them in different moods that are not necessarily true or valid. We give them incorrect and vague explanations!
If a child is resisting joining a swimming school for ex., there is a great difference between his mother making a statement such as “You are not good at sports” or asking “You don’t feel like joining this swimming school? You didn’t like the trainer, right?” What most mothers do is that they tend to give their children false and very general explanations to events instead of trying to understand what their child might be feeling.
We tend to model these types of explanations in our daily lives too for ex. when we make statements like “This country is hopeless” or “I will never find a good job”. These are very pessimistic generalizations. How about being more optimistic and saying “this country has been through a lot, I am hopeful that the coming days will be better isA” or “I am not very happy at my current job but I hope to find my dream job isA”. Teach your child to have real and specific explanations rather than general ones that could lead to depression.
Keep reading and learn how to raise happy and healthy kids. 🙂 It needs training to master this technique but once you do, you will feel the change in you and your kids.
Have a blessed happy life 🙂
Yomna Sameer is a management consultant and positive psychologist, as well as the founder of Flourish Foundation, a foundation that aims at changing lives and works on life changing strategies and programs for individuals in their daily and corporate lives. The foundation gives great attention to families, schools and children and aims at educating parents and teachers on how to raise happy, confident and optimistic kids. Yomna is currently completing her PHD in Business and Psychology from Kassel University in Germany.