Dignify, Honor, and Respect Your Man
As women, we desire to have a deep emotional bond with our spouse. We want to be loved and adored. Our inner core is filled with contentment and happiness when we feel understood and appreciated. Making a wish list of traits we want our husband to have is effortless, but bringing out the best in him takes a lot of nurturing.
We need to nourish our spouse daily with love, support and understanding. As a therapist, I have seen numerous men who are disappointed in their marriages. Many are frustrated and confused. Here’s an important tip to improve your marriage: SHOW HIM RESPECT.
The need for men to be respected is so strong that when they are given ample respect, they flourish like a plant that has just been watered. When they are deprived of the respect, they wilt and harbor feelings of sadness and resentment. Many times women put a lot of time and effort in keeping the house clean, taking care of the kids and fulfilling all the “duties”, but because they fall short in showing their husbands respect, the husbands will shut down and not show appreciation for all that they have done. It is critical to be sensitive towards men and their feelings. Even though men may not be as expressive, they can and do get hurt and it is much harder for them to recover from hurt feelings. Here are some ways to show respect:
- Always speak with kindness and politeness, regardless of how long you have been married. Show the same (if not more) graciousness to your husband than you show your guests.
- Never shout, call him names or use profanity.
- Don’t be sarcastic with sensitive issues – if he has any weaknesses or shortcomings don’t crack a joke about it. Even if he doesn’t get mad, he may feel hurt inside.
- Listen to his opinion and honor his requests – you will be rewarded in this world with a happy home and in the akhira inshā’Allāh.
- Don’t have a power struggle with him. When women are demanding and aggressive it makes the men be harsh and rigid. If you show respect for the role that Allāh has chosen for him he is more likely to be accommodating.
- Show love and respect to his family and be a unifying force. Don’t be known in his family as the person who took him.
- Respect his “alone time”, and allow him to unwind.
- Ask his opinions and value them.
Read also in the ‘Win His Heart’ series: You’re Still My Handsome Prince, Dignify, Get More Intimate More Often, Never Take Him For Granted, Fight Monotony with All Your Might and My Husband, My Friend, My World
Haleh Banani is a cognitive behavioral therapist with a Master degree in Clinical Psychology from University of Houston. She has over 15 years experience in diagnosing mental and emotional disorders and administrating programs of treatment. She was the first female to host a program for Al-Fajr TV called “With Haleh” which combines the principles of psychology and Islam to help people reach their full potential and overcome their challenges. Haleh is an internationally published writer and mother of three.