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The Secret To Having the Life You Want



The Secret To Having the Life You Want

Do you think you’re the only one that has those moments where they tell themselves they’re not: good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, experienced enough, thin enough, young enough or whatever enough? Nope!  We all have those doubts that creep in and try to sabotage what we’re really capable of and what we really want. The difference lies in whether you choose to listen to the negative messages (self-talk) playing over and over that you’ve been listening to, or you decide to play a new message.

What would that message sound like?

Instead of telling yourself “I can’t do that; I’m too heavy” how about “I can do this and I’m going to make a plan and work towards it.”

Set a new goal – make a new plan – create a new message that you tell yourself, and soon you’ll begin to believe it and feel more empowered.

Speak to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend. How can you be more kind and encouraging to yourself?

And get out of your own way! You are amazing and you can do anything you set your mind to!

Have a goal in mind and set small mini goals along the way to get you there. For example: If you have a goal to lose 20 kilos, that can feel quite overwhelming and sometimes it can feel impossible to reach that goal. Does it seem possible to lose three kilos? Okay, great, that’s a start. It’s very doable to lose three kilos in one month, so focus on that for now. Three kilos per month will have you at your goal in under one year. That will seem less daunting and will set you up so that you keep the weight off, instead of losing the weight quickly in an unsustainable way.



“One thing I really want to do by is” (set a due date): ________________________________________.

What is one action you can take today to get that in motion? Make a phone call, research options, talk to a friend or mentor?

My mindset shift is (“I used to think this but I’m changing the self-talk/message replay in my head to this”): ____________________.

Understand that, like everything in life, this is a process. Keep things simple, and be reasonable (but optimistic) with your expectations. Also, give yourself permission to know you don’t have to be perfect at it. Just start somewhere. It’s easy to have ‘paralysis by analysis’ and not take action until we have the ‘perfect plan’. Yes, I’ve been guilty of this, so I know how much it can hold you back. I’m a recovering perfectionist. It feels much better to be able to move forward with things knowing that it’s a process and I don’t have to be perfect right out of the gate.

Strive for progress, not perfection!



Remember, everyone starts out as a beginner. If you think you will succeed, you will find a way. If you keep telling yourself you’ll fail, you will find a way to fail. Why not speak to yourself in a kind way, encourage yourself, forgive yourself, know that you don’t have to be perfect, and just keep trying. You’ll have bad days, you’ll get off track, things happen. Just know it’s okay – dust yourself off, get back on track. Everyone gets off track at times; it’s part of life. The key is not judging yourself and finding your way back.



Read one good personal development book a month (like The Slight Edge, by Jeff Olson, Think and Grow Rich, by Napolean Hill, or The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg, for starters). Over the course of one year, you will have read 12 books that will fill you with ideas, possibilities and action steps to help you surpass your original goals.

Your mindset and your habits, more than anything else, determine where you go in life, what you accomplish and who you become. It doesn’t even matter so much where you are right at this moment.

Think about what you want, what you really, truly want for your life. Start implementing the habits, no matter how small, that will move you in that direction. Just start with ONE. That one habit can be the start of big changes. You may be surprised. Write the one habit down in several places you’ll see it as a reminder.

It all starts with a decision; DECIDE you’re committing to it.



The truth is everyone has doubts about themselves sometimes and every successful person had to start at point A to get to point B, to get to point C…to get where they are now. You have to start somewhere and anything really IS possible. Focus on what you really want and make a simple plan.

Another way to look at it and get a new perspective is to think ahead to when you’re 80 years old and you look back on your life. What will you wish you had done? What will you wish you had not been afraid to do?

Your mindset creates your habits and your habits shape your life and your destiny.

What do you REALLY want?

What steps are you ready to take?

Let me know what you plan to start with and how you’re doing.

You can do this. I’m rooting for you!

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Dana Dinnawi

Dana Dinnawi is an Integrative Nutrition health coach specializing in empowering women to improve their health and family life. She received her training from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, where she studied more than one hundred dietary theories and a variety of practical lifestyle coaching methods. She can be reached through her website and Facebook page.

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