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Open Letter to My Kids!


open letter


Open Letter to My Kids!

My dear children,

It occurred to me that in the middle of the rush that has become the hallmark of our life, you might have formed certain misconceptions about me. The purpose of this letter is to iron out a few of these misconceptions, and hopefully lay them to rest once and for all.

1. I don’t own shares in Colgate, Fa, Lux, Clairol, or other products that leave you smelling good. Whether or not you brush your teeth has no direct, or indirect bearing on me. It won’t make me richer, poorer, healthier, or happier.

2. The hours of negotiations, and deal making that have become the hallmark of our daily homework struggle change nothing. They don’t change the amount of homework you have. They don’t change the deadlines that come attached to your homework. They change nothing. They only serve to waste time.

3. While we’re on the topic of time. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for not having explained such an essential concept, and to explain once and for all what time really is. Time represents the hours I have given to phrasing my thoughts in terms that can appeal to you. Time is the nine months of malformation, swollen feet, hormone rides, and restless nights that I put up with to bring you over the bridge from egg to baby human. Time is the hours of sleepless nights I spent waiting for you to miraculously sleep through the night. While I realize that you might choose not to take the time to digest any of this, I take comfort in the fact that one way or the other you will learn to appreciate punctuality, and efficiency. If not through detentions, then probably through walk overs. If not through walk overs, then likely through pay cuts, missed promotions.. You will learn.. Eventually you will learn.

4. I choose to drive you to tennis practice, art lessons, and other extracurricular activities. I say ‘choose’ because it is a choice I make. I like driving, I like spending time with you guys, and we have the same taste in music… So, it’s a choice I make happily. That said, the minute you misconstrue our time together for an opportunity to get on Instagram, or play Guess Up, is the minute I start considering sending you with the driver. Oh and in case you don’t think I have better things to do with my time.. Well.. Think again.. Because I do! In fact, I could so use the extra time to work, see my friends, work out, or heaven forbid go for regular mani-pedis!

5. I am tempted to tell you that nothing comes easily, but I know this will go over your heads. Your father and I work very hard so you can live a comfortable life. We try to give you the best of everything. That said, the best pens won’t a student make.. Just like the best tennis racket won’t a player make.. And the best clothes won’t a better person make. Once again, I take comfort in knowing that, one way or the other, you will eventually learn this.

6. I love the fact that you don’t wear a uniform to school. It’s not an option I had as a student, and I love that we could offer you that. That said, while wearing track suits, crop tops, and torn jeans to school is perceived as being ‘cool’, I would like you to consider mixing it up a little when it comes to outings, family occasions, birthdays, and dinners. Would considering something from the 80% of the wardrobe you don’t wear to school be too much to ask? I’m sure that the definition of ‘cool’ could accommodate something other than crop tops and torn jeans.

I could go on, and on, and on.. But I will not. I will make a choice to stop here, and I will allocate the rest of this glorious Friday night to me!

Don’t wait up



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