How many times does you child tell you: “Not fair” or “Why you/him/her and not me?” Why are our kids constantly complaining about what they don’t have while overlooking what they do have? Why no matter what I do, is it always “not fair”? Actually, we see this trait in both, adults and kids! Yet, adults are usually more careful about what they say in public!
What promotes this feeling is a few misconceptions that need to be corrected and dealt with:
1- Usually, we get confused between justice and equality and think they are synonymous while in fact they are more of antonyms! Equality means giving each person the exact same thing while disregarding each individual’s needs, interests, age and capabilities. Justice, on the other hand, means giving each individual whatever suits their needs, interests, age and capabilities. This is how God deals with us too, if we think about it.
2- Do our kids always hear us complaining about what we don’t have and what is missing? Or do our eyes see and appreciate what we already have and not take it for granted?
3-Do we constantly compare our kids to their very own best or to others around them? The first approach encourages and motivates our kids to improve and develop themselves while the other one does the exact opposite!
If we follow these guidelines, the ”Not fair” stage will hopefully end sooner than we expect.
Noha is a certified Health Coach by Dr. Sears Wellness Institute, a certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator and a passionate mother of two. Through her blog, she hopes to empower families and parents to lead a healthy, happy and well balanced life inside out.