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Never Take Him for Granted



Never Take Him for Granted

As women, we desire to have a deep emotional bond with our spouse. We want to be loved and adored. Our inner core is filled with contentment and happiness when we feel understood and appreciated. Making a wish list of traits we want our husband to have is effortless, but bringing out the best in him takes a lot of nurturing.

We need to nourish our spouse daily with love, support and understanding. As a therapist, I have seen numerous men who are disappointed in their marriages. Many are frustrated and confused. Here’s a helpful tip to improve your marriage: MAKE HIM FEEL APPRECIATED.

When a man gets married he enjoys being the center of his wife’s life.  He loves all the attention, the special meals and having his wife exclusively to himself. Once children appear in the picture, everything changes for the man. Not only is he not center stage – he is not even on stage! He sees his wife completely absorbed with the new baby and as much as he loves and adores the child, he simply doesn’t want to be replaced by him. There are so many times that men are made to feel neglected. Whether it’s because of the newborn baby, her demanding job or her never ending list of errands and voluntarism, men are being overlooked and pushed aside. Each man is craving his wife’s attention. The woman that knows how to shower her man with attention and appreciation will win his heart. In my practice, working with couples, I have discovered that most people either have no idea how to show appreciation or they mistakenly show it the way they would like to receive it.

Here are some practical and easy ways to show appreciation to your husband:

  1. Greet him with a hug and a kiss when he arrives home. Men have a need to feel important,
  2. Make him feel that you are glad that he is home- this will create a positive association to being home; therefore he will WANT to spend more time at home,
  3. Get off the phone before he arrives,
  4. Make sure the place is presentable,
  5. Have a sumptuous dinner ready,
  6. Verbalize that you appreciate his hard work and all that he provides,
  7. Be happy – nothing shows appreciation like a content smile,
  8. Be understanding when he has to stay late or has to travel,
  9. Listen to him without multitasking – I know it’s hard for us sisters to sit still and just simply listen, but it’s so critical to make  a man feel heard,

You can lounge around in your sweats all day long chillin’, but before your hubby gets home take 10 minutes to wear something attractive (depending on what he likes – some prefer jeans and a cute top, others prefer short skirts or dresses – find out what he enjoys) and dab some lipstick and mascara on. Men are exposed to so many attractive women at work, at school, in the malls, on billboards, magazines and T.V. so in order to strengthen them to lower their gaze they need to have something worthwhile to come home to at night. You don’t have to be a supermodel to look presentable to your husband. Just spend a few minutes to fix your hair and accentuate your best assets. Keep in mind that many times when husbands come home from a long day at work they may not immediately notice your effort to dress up, so gently draw attention to your new dress, haircut or makeup and let your husband know you did it just for him.

Read also in the ‘Win His Heart‘ series: Get More Intimate More Often, Dignify, Honor and Respect Your Man, You’re Still My Handsome Prince, Fight Monotony with All Your Might and My Husband, My Friend, My World

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Haleh Banani

Haleh Banani is a cognitive behavioral therapist with a Master degree in Clinical Psychology from University of Houston. She has over 15 years experience in diagnosing mental and emotional disorders and administrating programs of treatment. She was the first female to host a program for Al-Fajr TV called “With Haleh” which combines the principles of psychology and Islam to help people reach their full potential and overcome their challenges. Haleh is an internationally published writer and mother of three.

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